Saturday

It is the Saturday before Easter. Yesterday was Good Friday and I decide to watch the film The Passion of the Christ. I awake knowing my faith has taken a much different form then when I first saw the movie in 2004. It was the same overwhelmingly powerful story, but a much different reaction. It is hard to ignore the brutality. This viewing I see strength in Christ’s suffering that was noticed by the crowd. He never looks defeated, but continues to stand. While I view it for a second time, I focus on the accusations, the words hurled against Christ, the insults, the disrespect, and the lies. I watch Jesus Christ’s reaction; He speaks little and when He does it demonstrates a trust in the Father. He never addresses the evil around Him. He speaks the truth. I have to admit He seems like a mad man almost, until you factor in what is only suggested in the movie, the miracles. He admits that He is the Son of God, the I am. This so enrages the religious Jewish leadership, but gives the Roman authority cause for pause. In answer to all the cruelty against His Son, as He gives up His last breath, the Father sheds a single tear. There is an earthquake that renders the curtain of the temple torn in two.

God speaks.

Then comes the dawn of the next day, I ask what Saturday is like? It must seem like God has abandoned all His plans. I am sure those who love Jesus Christ who have witnessed the trials, beating and death are completely traumatized. The disciples are scattered and confused. I am sure there is fear and the question that rises from their breast is; what now? What next?

There are times in our lives that are like the day before the resurrection, the day before the promise is granted, the day after dreams and hopes are shattered before restoration begins. There are situations that seem impossible to bear. We are unable to explain or understand our circumstances. You see without the resurrection … Good Friday is a disaster. It is a crimes scene, a travesty of injustice. It cries out to be resolved. What we have trusted in doesn’t seem to work. We find ourselves in a crisis of faith.

There are times in our faith walk that can only be called a crisis of belief. We look at our situation and know that restoration can only come from the Lord. He has got to move. He has got to work on our behalf. These are the words the film maker Mel Gibson chose to use when he arranged the scene in the garden of Gethsemane as the movie opens. These are the words Christ spoke in reliance on the Father.

Hear me Father,
Rise up and defend me.
Save me from the traps they set for me.
Shelter me
I trust in you.
In you I take refuge.

Christ’s words are the theme to many a Psalm; Psalm 31, 27, 140, 141, 86, 38 to name a few.

In response the Evil One whispered lies into His ears; no one can bear the weight of the sins of the entire world. “No on ever will, it is too heavy, too costly.”

For Jesus Christ the Garden was His crisis of faith, for us it is Saturday. Today is beautiful out. Nothing seems out of place, but for those who wait for God’s hand the blue sky seems like a lie. Saturday suspends us. Saturday tempts us with unbelief. Saturday finds us out of step with the rest of the world who seem to go about their business unaffected. Saturday demands answers to questions we are afraid to ask. Saturday is the silence in which we like Jesus in the garden can only look to knowing the Father, rest and be willing to allow Him to work.

I woke up this morning knowing in the unfolding of the events of my life over the last four years there has been a wall erected around my heart. It was built with the ruble of a life I once knew and trusted in. I have looked for God within the ruble, only to have built a wall. I look at the sacrifice of Christ with tired eyes and I want to know hope again. Only God can resolve this crisis of faith. Will I rest in what I know of Him and let Him speak?

Tomorrow is Easter.