motionless
clouds saturate
the heat
(math class haiku 2008)
cold slant
of the seaward rain
clams on the coal
Modern Haiku Vol. XIX, No. 2
Evidence of Sky Watching in the verse. I walked out of class today with the inner knowledge that I was ready to reconnect with people. I have worked through forgiveness, fear, anger. I have realized the isolation I have experience was the medicine I needed. I needed time alone to work things out in my mind, heart and soul. I needed to discover or rediscover the person God made me to be. She is here like a butterfly out of a cocoon… as corny as that sounds. Every inch of my being is ready to engage once again in life. My circumstances have not changed; in fact they seem to continue to deteriorate. There isn’t a whole lot to encourage me… that doesn’t seem to matter either.
I guess when I wrote about Willow Bend allowing me to just be me and how good that was, something clicked. Then there is my mentee, who made it clear she just wants to spend time with me, to just be with me and how that makes me feel. And my heart is opening up. It has been closed tight and I have cried everyday for the last five years. I don’t think it is the end of my tears, but the beginning on my new life, for real. Somehow now on this side of it, especially this side of forgiveness, I see that I got what I needed, I got myself back and if I had to go into exile to receive that, than exile it is. And it is ok with me. I walked out of school tonight, whole and healed and unafraid, even though my circumstances haven’t changed. (except the 100 in Math, that is new).
(math class haiku 2008)
cold slant
of the seaward rain
clams on the coal
Modern Haiku Vol. XIX, No. 2
Evidence of Sky Watching in the verse. I walked out of class today with the inner knowledge that I was ready to reconnect with people. I have worked through forgiveness, fear, anger. I have realized the isolation I have experience was the medicine I needed. I needed time alone to work things out in my mind, heart and soul. I needed to discover or rediscover the person God made me to be. She is here like a butterfly out of a cocoon… as corny as that sounds. Every inch of my being is ready to engage once again in life. My circumstances have not changed; in fact they seem to continue to deteriorate. There isn’t a whole lot to encourage me… that doesn’t seem to matter either.
I guess when I wrote about Willow Bend allowing me to just be me and how good that was, something clicked. Then there is my mentee, who made it clear she just wants to spend time with me, to just be with me and how that makes me feel. And my heart is opening up. It has been closed tight and I have cried everyday for the last five years. I don’t think it is the end of my tears, but the beginning on my new life, for real. Somehow now on this side of it, especially this side of forgiveness, I see that I got what I needed, I got myself back and if I had to go into exile to receive that, than exile it is. And it is ok with me. I walked out of school tonight, whole and healed and unafraid, even though my circumstances haven’t changed. (except the 100 in Math, that is new).
