Houses and Homes

What I am doing... I have to read this "stuff" and review. What a challenge. I mostly want to scream and pull out my hair.

Houses and Homes

The story is about having closure in a series of unsatisfactory relationships and moving on. There is no real story in this in terms of action. The protagonist goes to work, says goodbye to friends and family and drives to New York. There is no crisis, no obstacles to him moving forward. He has some regret about Merrill, which he hopes to work out.

There needs to be more. It is interesting. I get the sense that the protagonist has changed. He wants to be serious about his work, in film. He also wants to avoid intimate relationships with too many women because most in the end bring him down. I think of the character in Chekov’s A Woman and a Dog. Merrill could be the woman who changes this philander’s mind. If you read the story there is more at stake. There is a great deal at stake in Chekov and in real life too as people live out the consequences of life choices.

In your story you have handled sex very causally, which perhaps fits the times. In doing so you have lost the real story, that sex is powerful and relationships are mysterious and unexplainable. The relationships the protagonist has with multiple women appear very shallow so you have lost the story. I suggest you go find it, the real story.

You also introduced the mother as the closest thing to an antagonist. You polished her off with a few well chosen words in an argument. He opposes her invitations to go to church. I think a more interesting story would have been for him to go to church. It would have at least created an inner conflict. He avoided this conflict by being cheeky with his mom and then self satisfied with putting her off. So again you have made shallow a relationship that could have depth and meaningful interaction. What if something his mom said did change his mind, he would have to integrate that into his life. It doesn’t seem that anyone affects him very deeply. How can one make serious film out of that? Give this artist some conflict and depth. Do not let him avoid relationship, but engage in it.