The wisdom of forgiveness

You can’t really understand forgiveness and what it cost until you have been given a very good reason not to forgive. People can do things that really shouldn’t be forgiven. They can do it in a way that shows they don’t have a clue as to why they need forgiveness. Most of the time they go merrily on their way seemingly unaffected and you are left holding the emotional baggage. Thinking… “what the heck was that all about… why did this person feel the need to ------- fill in the blank.”
We are in need of extending forgiveness because we shouldn’t be left holding the bag. Let it go. Easier said than done, believe me I know, but oh so worth it.

Forgiveness costs us. It cost us our comfort zone. I am comfortable living in the past remembering the bad things people have done. Maybe it makes us feel superior to people. See how rotten they are. Maybe it makes us feel important. Maybe we just can’t ignore the hurt that is caused as we remember a hurt. I have a friend whose husband asked for a divorce on Christmas day. That is what he wanted for Christmas. She has never told me, but I can imagine there is never a Christmas where there is at least the potential for reliving the pain of that day. All you need for that trigger is Christmas day.

Forgiveness costs us facing the pain, but doing it in a new way. Seeing it for what it is and choosing to let it go. There is a need for the supernatural element of prayer here. I do not believe we forgive naturally. It is against our nature. We forgive supernaturally, trusting that God will continue to do the good work in us.

Forgiveness costs us our comfort zone because it demands that we look at ourselves and see our part in the situation. It may mean admitting we are wrong too and in need of forgiveness ourselves. It costs us the discomfort of seeking reconciliation where possible. Reconciliation isn’t always possible, but one should be willing to allow God to work. If we are willing God will work.

When I was younger I was in a recovery group and we were studying the steps on making amends, just being willing to do what is needed on our part to make things right. Someone told how they owed someone money and had never intended to pay the person back. In their step study they became willing to pay back the money. They had not seen the person in years and didn’t know where the person lived. That week they stopped at a rest stop on I-95 and ran into the other man. My friend told the man he was in recovery and needed to make amends. He gave the money to the man he owed and asked for forgiveness.

That is being willing to make things right and God working. We all need that.

What forgiveness gives in return is a closer relationship to God and perhaps the other person. We are free from the burden that was not ours to carry. It allows God, not us, to discipline the person if they continue to sin. If in being forgiven the person changes his ways than we have been a witness for the Lord or have turned another brother from his sin. All reasons to rejoice. Nothing good comes from us setting ourselves up as judge. We stop the work of God in our lives and do not allow the Holy Spirit to work in the situation. We give non-believers an inaccurate picture of God.

But if we forgive… we set in motivation the Spirit of God to work.

In that God will bless.

Child’s Play

I am a helper in the second to fourth grade Sunday school class at my church. Today while Gigi my co-worker was teaching I got to watch from the other side of the room. We do these games designed to teach simple truths. We are in a section on the Parables of Jesus. Today we studied the parable of the unforgiving servant from the book of Matthew. (Matthew 18:20-22)

Our game consisted of the kids getting in a small circle so they could all take ahold of a gold metal ring. I was across the room with a green foam star. Gigi explained that the gold metal ring was sin and that we were all connected to each other because we are all sinners. “All have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God.”

I wish I had my camera because the expressions on their little faces was classic. There were very disturbed by this revelation, but agreed it was true.

Then Gigi told them the green star I held up was God and they were all separated from God. They began to try to crawl over to God, crying out “We need YOU, we need YOU!”

Gigi said wait a minute you can’t get to God unless I give you something. She then gave them a wooden cut out heart. She said you need a new heart. Then she handed the hearts out saying Jesus died in our place and paid our debt, they were free to run to God.

Which they gratefully did. They all then grabbed on to the green form star and Gigi told them now we are all connected to each other because we belong to God. She asked “How does that feel?”

Much better.

The reality of this escapes some who should know better. Simple enough for a child to grasp.
We are all connected. Think on that.

The Place Where God Speaks

Even as the day fades
And the night arises
My heart waits