Living with Cancer

Every once in awhile my sister will write about her cancer. I always feel I need to respond. She usually corrects my thinking, which is OK. I am not the one who has been asked to carry this burden, but I do like to remind her I carry it with her, in prayer and just plain old love. You have to understand how close we were, how close we are. She is so much a part of me.

When I knew I was an alcoholic and I needed help, I didn't want to tell my parents. Mary went to them and did what I could not do.

When my marriage went south and my ex called my parents and used the "d" word before I was even close to that decision and my mom became upset with me for a year, Mary, kept talking to mom until she understood what was going on. I could not have done it myself.

Here is her recent post.

Happy Dance
I'm celebrating. It's November 1st and I made it thru the entire month of October without getting sick! First time in 4 years (yes, count 'em, 4), that I have not had a virus in October. This is a big deal for me. 3 years ago I when I caught a virus I was sick for about 3 days. 2 years ago when I caught one I was sick for 3 weeks. Last year when I caught one I was sick for 6 weeks (honestly, 3 weeks in October, 3 weeks in November). This year: zero days, zero weeks! Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!
October's been a rough month all around for more than the last 4 years. 7 years ago this October I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL). Talk about a kick in the pants. Sept. 11, 2001, well, we all know what happened on that day, the next day was my first (and unfortunately not my last) visit to an oncologist. Three weeks later, I got my diagnosis.
Since CLL is a chronic cancer, they don't treat it until it becomes totally necessary to. Chronic cancers grow much slower than acute cancers which makes it harder to kill those nasty cancer cells. So, it was kind of weird to be told you have cancer, but they're not going to do anything about it. I'm on what's called watch and wait (or as some people refer to it: wait and worry). It takes some getting used to.
One of the downsides of having CLL is that my blood counts are flip flopped. My white cell count it high and my red blood count, while it's normal, it's on the low end of normal. And since my white count is up, I'm more at risk to catching things, like viruses. In the last couple of years I feel like I've been one big virus magnet, I seem to catch them at the drop of a hat. That's why it's such a big deal for me that I made it thru this past month without catching one.
So, happy dance, happy dance and in the words of Ren and Stimpy - Happy, happy, joy, joy!

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I have a friend who I love, him and his wife who is suffering at the moment with cancer. TJ has helped me so often deal with Mary's cancer as we haved talked and he shared about himself. I could talk to him and Janet about it because they walk the same path.

Of all the things I missed, that I regret is not getting to serve with TJ and Janet more. Sometimes it makes me want to scream, UNFAIR. I have protested this the most of everthing that has happened. I loved being on a team with them. This is the reason, the post above me and then if you know them, you'll know why I write these words I write. Because I know you understand how I feel and feel it with me.