Chill

I do push myself. And today well, I went over a line that I won’t do again ever. There were many contributions to this; finals, new job, allergies, Carolen put something in my hair that smelled (it smelled good but being allergic to most perfumes I suspect it was too much) I was fasting, maybe my contacts were in the wrong eye, but I got a headache which I IGNORED, until it got me. I tried to eat, took some Tylenol, couldn’t eat, laid down, thought of taking my life because I was is so much pain, I couldn’t believe, tired to cry, (bad idea) threw up, slept for 2 hours and was glad I didn’t have the flu. I am fine. Just feel worn out after cleaning my closet, color organizing the clothes.

I stayed up til three thirty last night watching the Kite Runner which left me disturbed and also asking, was this and that plausible? (creative writing class does that to you) I woke up and laid there thinking it was 9ish. Found out it was almost time to leave for my haircut. No quiet time. I never miss that and I hate it. I wanted to write all morning. I have a meeting tomorrow which is technically today, Sunday. Still hope to find time to write, but I am skeptical. I want to ride my bike and I am not supposed to push myself. So, there ya go, my always dilemma, there is more to do that I want or need to do than I have time or energy for.

I was writing about devotion, what true devotion means. And I am too tired to write now, but I will. When you wait four months, a semester, to do what you want or need, then it piles up and I can get overwhelmed, so today I picked a few things and because I pushed, I got sick and I didn’t get to write. I know, I know Jesus is telling me to chill and He is serious here.