Fasting Today

I am doing shorter fasts because I have been at this awhile, since January and my body I think needs me to pull back. So I have shortened the time. I think also the time for fasting may be at an end. When you seek guidance and God speaks, then you know what to do, you just do it, not seek for more guidance.

Knowing what to do doesn’t necessarily mean having answers. Daily we chose between living for God or for our own comfort. When I was relieved of my ministry and asked to step down the temptation to live for self increased. When I was not allowed to serve, I prayed instead. When I was asked to leave I stopped praying for my church. My focus became to love those around me the best I could. I accepted that serving in a church was not appropriate for a time.

My flesh would love to just concern myself with myself, to find a job where I could be comfortable, to get through school and use my spare time on my interests. As an artist there is always the temptation to self promote, really if one chooses to live by your art, self promotion is essential. As long as doors remain closed for me I have no choice but to live a life of minimal involvement, little service. I have been seen as unusable by God for whatever reason, and that assessment of me is the one I have rebelled against. It is the one thing I long for God to change.
It would be so easy, so easy to seek comfort and success artistically. In doing so it doesn’t even matter if I succeed, there is satisfaction in the seeking. But if I choose to seek to serve then there are certain things I need to let go of in order to do so. The first thing is the assessment of me as unusable by God. Also I need to let go of the mindset that I should hold back because I am a liability to people. I need to ask, am I a liability to God and to his kingdom work? And if I am, what can I do to change that. I need to ask Him, what can I do for you?