Math Anxiety and Haiku

have nothing in common that I have found yet. I started a quest with my counselor on anger. Not that I am an angry person... but I don't allow myself to get angry then I break, as Scott calls it. I call it meltdown. It happens when I get pushed around, cornered or bullied. It happens when I get overwhelmed, but my reaction looks like anger, it is but not the manipulative type. It is more self defense, my very poor way of saying, I can't handle anymore, I need to shut down. It is not insubordination or disobedience, it is the flight/fight thing or as I am discovery an anxiety attack. It is fear. And God is connecting these dots that have always baffled me. Bottom line I am not very good at dealing openly and honestly with my anger which is so closely related to fear.
In all this mix God has shown me several people I need to forgive for not protecting me when it was their charge and thus causing me great fear. But what else God has shown me is that in the midst of betrayal, the only word that fits, He protected me, He cared for me. I see it very plainly in that He removed me because I was not protected when I should have been. He is in control and I am in a high place.




cold moon
alone
in the whippoorwill's cry





Inkstone Volume 3 Number 4




I have a new part time job. It is teaching art. God is always right. He said an artist who teaches a teacher who writes.

I have crossed no lines. There was no instructions given. Like before it was left up to me to figure out. I figure I will do as God asks and love my friends and family......... that includes my church family. Some things have no law against them, one is love.